dresses & skirts

I was at the park yesterday and I noticed a group of ladies jogging in dresses & skirts. Not only did the length of their dresses constrict the length of their strides, but it just looked uncomfortable. This brought back some old memories. Growing up as a preacher's daughter, everything my sisters and I did was restricted and over analyzed. Every year, my dad seemed to get stricter and stricter with us. Our wardrobes consisted of dresses & skirts only. Anything above the knee was literally an abomination. One day in Jr. High, one of my friends asked me why I only wore dresses & skirts. I didn't have a logical explanation besides, just because that's what I'm told to do. This was my state of rebellion. In reality, I just wanted to express myself openly. At first I would change clothes at school, then change back before I got back home. This got boring really fast. So I decided to beat my dad at his own game. I asked where in the bible does it say that I have to wear a long dress & skirt everyday? He started talking about purity and such. But who says that other clothing isn't pure? Obviously there are different types of styles in clothing and being conservative isn't limited to dresses & skirts. Trying to throw the bible in there, it does say that women shouldn't wear men's clothing but women's pants aren't the same as men's pants. That being said, I wonder what those women at the park would say if I asked why they wear dresses & skirts? I'm not being judgemental, but I don't think anyone should have control over somebody enough to direct what clothing is appropriate or not.

reminisce....

The funeral's today. I'm not going, but I can't get it out of my head. The whole situation seems surreal, like a nightmare you can't wake up from. Everybody's going to be there, the distraught friends and family, the supporting church members, the heartless gossip mongers, the media....everyone but me. I can't make myself go. Going makes it real and I can't accept that. I find myself watching the news, browsing the web, reading blogs about it. They all call him "the bad guy", "the shooter." I'm not defending what he did, but you think you know someone after 13 years until something like this happens. Nobody thinks about the "bad guy's" family. What did they do to deserve this? They can't control their family member's actions. The worst part is those pitiless idiots calling and harassing the family. They just lost a son, a brother, part of their family. How can they be so heartless? This makes me reminisce of those times we would hang out and have fun. It's so sad I watched him fall into a dark hole of depression and drugs, and yet did nothing to help him out. I would see him at school or around town, and I would just look away as if I didn't know him and was too good to know someone like him. I hate myself for that. I could've helped him. We all could have. There are so many what if's.....